Sunday, September 30, 2007

So, wanna know something weird? I write letters in my head to people around me. Mostly at work.

For example:

Dear Over-40-coffee-drinking-guy,
Please stop trying to flirt with me. You're just embarassing us both. More you than me. Just take your coffee, leave me my 15 cent tip and go. You're holding up the line and the woman behind you is a better tipper.

Thanks!
amanda

To the two young women currently holding up the line,
You've been standing in line for a few minutes. You should know by now what you want to drink. The menu board has not changed since you walked in. Please stop staring at it with your mouth hanging open. You should have used your line time wisely.

Sincerely,
amanda

Dear Cassie-Ann's Mom,
I don't know your name, I only know your daughter's name because you spend hours sitting in a chair with your head stuck in manga constantly yelling CASSIE-ANN! without ever actually looking up and/or doing anything about the fact that she's pulled a row of books off the floor and hit another kid. Please at least attempt some parenting instead of leaving it to everyone else.

Yours Truly,
The entire closing shift of Books-a-Million

Dear General Manager of Books-a-Million,

Please ban that demon child Cassie-Ann and her mother.

Thanks-a-million!
the staff and customers of BAM

Dear Chris,

Just. Shut. Up.

Love,
the world

Dear Blog Reader,

Stop laughing at me.

Amanda