Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Dear DMV,
For the sake of time and my own sanity I’m not even going to touch the absolutely inconceivable amount of time it takes to get anything done there or the incomprehensible system that you use to decide who is next. (I know you’re just back there pulling numbers out of a hat, so just drop the act.) And between the complete randomness of your so-called "system," the apathy and disdain from your employees and the absolute mind-numbing ridiculousness of the conversations going on in the waiting area it’s enough to push any sane person over the edge. And would it KILL you to have a vending machine? Seriously, we’re tired, we’re hot, and we could use some refreshment.
Anyway, like I said, that’s not the point of this letter.
My Question is this:
WHY do you still accept cash only? What other business or orginization do you know that accepts cash only? Huh? Can you think of any? Because I can’t think of one place of business where payment is required that accepts cash only. So what’s the deal? We are almost a decade into the 21st century. What’s holding you back? I think it’s safe to assume that this whole debit card thing isn’t just a passing fad. It’s here to stay. Don’t you think it’s time you started limping you’re way into this century? Join us. It’s nice here.

amanda

Dear Craig Ferguson,
Hi there. I think you’re great. I’ve liked you since you played Drew Carey’s boss. And I think it’s genius that you have your own late night talk show. Genius! I admire the fact that when Britney Spears had just shaved her head you didn’t join in on the bashing. Instead of making jokes you recognized a cry for help and refused to treat the situation with sarcasm. Good for you. Way to hold on to your compassion!
And it helps that you’re stinking hilarious as well.

amanda
PS. the scottish accent doesn’t hurt!

Dear CSI: New York,
I admit I never really gave you a chance. I always thought you were second best. Not as bad as Miami but not as great as Las Vegas. But last week I sat down and gave you a fair shot. I watched you thinking of you as just another crime drama and not comparing you directly to CSI. Now I see that you can hold your own in the crime drama genre. There is a greater focus on characters. And it’s easy to get involved. So, I think you’ll see where I’m coming from when I say this. If you break up Danny and Lindsay I will be most put out. And the boycott will be on. Why do you spend 2 full seasons getting them together just to spend one episode breaking them up? WHY? You are not Friends. Don’t follow the Ross and Rachel Roadmap. That leads to sad and disgruntled fans holding out hope till the VERY LAST STINKING EPISODE. Okay, so maybe that was a little residual bitterness, but the point is still valid. Don’t go there, CSI: New York. It’s not fun.

Your Newest Fan,
amanda

Dear Espresso Shots,
Wow you’re hot. Especially when some strange accidental cup tilt makes you spill across the face. Not fun.
Not fun at all.
amanda